Monday, June 14, 2010

Tell me what you know about dreamin’

Had the third dream that I can remember about my Mom. Wrote this 30 minutes after I woke up today:

Woke up in my childhood house (bottom floor of 3 story house that was built into a hill), alarm clock went off, blinds were open, sun was shining through the trees. I worked for 360training, and co-workers were coming to pick me up. Don’t remember who, but I think people from regulatory (upstairs). Coffee was made in my room, but all the doors were open so I went upstairs, my mom was there, and appeared very old. Like a grandmother. People were moving stuff out of her house, everybody was moving, not really talking. My dad was there, Grandma and Nana, and the Taylors. I was upstairs getting more coffee for my co-workers. Asked my mom if I could borrow the house phone. I remember hugging her or seeing her up close. She was very different. Old, and not full of life. My dad was in another bedroom talking with Grandma and Nana at some point.
I went downstairs, then left the house with co-workers, but for some reason I brought mom’s house phone with me. Also, we left co-worker in my room there so had to go back and get them. Went back, house looked like a modern cabin from outside, no other houses around it. River was behind the house (combo of 1st and 2nd house I ever lived in). I ran in, more movement inside, gave the phone to my old looking mother, she said not to worry because there were 3. I left, but my co-workers were gone.
I had to go to some festival at my mom’s pre-school. State radio was playing and I had to be there. This was for work that I had to go. I began driving/ or running (some sort of fast movement), but my mom’s pre-school (discover tree) was supposed to be next door, but it was gone. Ran back into my mom’s house, and my dad told me it had moved. He was sitting in a room with grandma and nana talking. Nothing on the walls, just a light bulb on a stand. I didn’t see my mom. I left the house.

Then I was running through artichoke fields, and finally made it to the school. It looked like Santa Cruz artichoke fields and scorpion bay combined. It was deserted and quiet. The sun was very bright, but it wasn't hot out. Was a sign with schedule on it, state radio didn’t play until four p.m. It was still early morning, and nobody was there. I looked around panoramically, and saw the Santa Cruz mountains beyond the artichoke fields. Looked like the mountains down by Watsonville. There were huge Egyptian looking houses/ruins on top of the mountains, hills. Looked from the olden times, or from LOST.
As I stood there alone some random girl in a sun tanning chair came up (hovering over the artichoke fields laying down as she came towards me),I walked up to her but her face was blank. Then I woke up crying.

I have had another dream similar to this of my Mom in my childhood house older, and alone. Very disturbing on days following these dreams. They physically make me feel sick for the whole day. I did have one happy dream about my Mom, and that is the one that made me want to go sleep again so I could feel that joy. Until then, I guess I'll have to wait and see.

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